Yet Another Side of the Garment Industry...

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a fashion designer. By the age of seven, I was buying magazines like Vogue as soon as I had saved up enough change from doing my parents' laundry, washing my dad's car and other chores. My dad grew up in a household where there was always a maid to do these things, including cooking your meals, and even a "nurse" to help you with your homework. But in my house, "unless your arms and legs are broken," like my dad always liked to say, "you work like other Americans." It's probably a testament to my mom and dad's parenting style that they were always more concerned with the fact that I was spending money than what I was spending it on. Apparently they thought nothing of the inappropriateness of a seven year-old reading fashion magazines...

Press release describing me and my team's work and reason for the workshop:
http://www.asiafoundation.org/Locations/cambodia_srilanka_rc2006.html

i am sitting here at home now, busy with work and other projects and realized how ridiculous it was to write about a work trip to a place i've never been before and never describe the work i do. i could write a book on this project, the stakeholders in the industry, all its unintended consequences, and the but maybe i can leave that for grad school.

hhhhmmmmmm... that's actually not a bad idea... ;)

The Mekong River

My new hotel is on the river, which has a million shops and restaurants. I love it. So far this trip, I've eaten dinner or had drinks at an Italian restaurant, Chinese, Khmer, French (actually about three different French places), Nepalese, a pizza shop, more Khmer, a dumpling house, a Mexican place, an open air tropical cocktails bar, probably French-owned, and a Spanish tapas bar, which is still my favorite.

This is such a contrast to what I affectionately call "The Colonial Compound"that was my old hotel. I can walk out onto the street and do, see, buy and eat anything. And there's a ton of activity. When Sambath drives me from the office after work, there's a million people hanging out in front of the royal palace esplanade! Today, I saw folks playing soccer, volleyball, girls holding hands walking down the street. So sweet. It's really cool to see such a huge congregation of people and know they're not there to start a riot or waiting in line for work, for food, etc.

There's still not really a middle class in Cambodia - though I'm sure one in a few hundred would argue with me on that, but I stand my ground! - but you wouldn't know it by driving my way home in the late afternoon/early evening. It's a great sight to see.

The shop where I bought most of the souveniers for my girl friends is this fantastic little store right around the corner from the FCC. One of the girls who works there calls me "Sister." I was really flattered and a bit touched until I realized later that it's the polite Khmer custom to call other women that. I still thought it was cute, tho...

It's Thursday night and I'm set to take the morning off of work tomorrow to go to the genocide museum (the old prison here in town) and the killing fields later. I saved the heavy stuff for last for a reason, and now time's running out. Maybe I'll have a $10 facial afterward to cushion the blow and bring me back down a notch...

You have to do anything that requires physical labor and ambition here for early morning, to take advantage of the morning "cool." Bracing myself for that 6 am wake up call...

Sambath and Samnang

Those are the names of my drivers. I will take pictures of them before I leave. They're great guys, and it's nice to see them in the morning and after a long day and have people to make jokes with and not have to talk shop with all the time. They are kind and generous. Samnang, especially, and as his English is very good, our chats tend to have more depth and it's a relief to feel understood. I can't make this blog known to any coworkers here because they would discover that even the drivers are well aware of office politics, and Samnang is probably the most perceptive...

Yes, of course it is weird for me to have "drivers." I would much rather take motos and tuk tuks around town and to the office than be driven around like some VIP or something. It's extremely awkward for me and I loathe being started at while I'm in the Jeep. But due to the history of the country and our office's security concerns here, the senior staff hosting me insist on assigning me someone to pick me up for work in the morning and take me back to the hotel at night. Apparently, what I do and how I get there after I am dropped off at my hotel at night is wide open ;)

I will miss Sambath and Samnang when I leave.

the clouds have officially parted!

the optimist in me is fighting away the notion to say, "too bad it took so long!"

my second half of this trip is proving to be the most lovely, enjoyable and fulfilling experience abroad i can remember in this life. after my first two days of no work (!!!), my experience alone visiting the temples of angkor gave me a chance to finally clear my thoughts and focus on what's really important: the fact that no matter how excrutiating the pressure, relationships and weight of responsibility has been, that i will someday look back on these people, projects and experiences with affectionate nostalgia.

since we returned from bangkok, i began to feel the ease of tensions, and after my weekend, recognized myself as a renewed spirit completely.

and i finally took a few minutes to get to know our staff better. we have an expert in anti-trafficking, and i felt humbled and grateful to talk to her at a party tonight. her story is so interesting. and that of her colleagues in the same field is even more so. her friend left cambodia in 1975, and her father, the minister of justice at the time, was killed and "disappeared"by the khmer rouge. they never told her where or how he died. she only speaks french because her family was one of the elite families before the k.r. hers is similar to so many stories i've heard, yet it never becomes any less heartbreaking.

with three days left in the office and an overnight left in bangkok, i have saved the heaviest of sights to see for last: the killing fields, tuol sleng (the infamous prison), the national museum and the palace. and i'm really glad i did. i don't think i could have taken this much introspection at the beginning, when i was just trying to take it all in to beging with and was suffocated by the demands of too many tasks.

i'm very much looking forward to it. in the meantime, back to the geckos in my room and another fascinating day ahead...

angkor what?

so i really needed some time to myself and away from work. i decided to take a two day holiday and spend the weekend in siem reap, where all the famous ancient temples are. it's pronounced SEE-UM REE-UP. flew in early early yesterday morning and flying out early this eve. stayed in this small and simple but cute and charming little guesthouse style hotel. nice little bungalows. geckos crawling up and down the walls of my room but thankfully no mice. memories of indo remind me that geckos don't hurt you and never touch you, just crawl around...

my tour guide dude took me to the most famous temple - angkor wat - first, then to the second biggest park, angkor thom, full of more archealogical ruins and more temples, and after a break from the exhausting heat, more sightseeing in the afternoon and to a mountain temple where the view is breathtaking. they have elephants for those who didn't wanna hike up the steep side or take the long, panoramic path. i decided to take the long path, which they call, "safety path," and when it started raining when we reached the top, i came to find out why. tour guide dude misjudged the weather and we got caught in a serious downpour. clothes and hair soaking wet. took the "elephant path" down the mountain to avoid mudslides and ruined a good pair of shoes cos they were full of elephant shit. yes. an elephant dropping is about the size of your head. combine that with the mudslide, clothes and hair completely soaked, and i was ready to call it quits. and not because it wasn't an exhilerating experience, but more due to my lack of bringing a backback with extra clean clothes. aduh!

this morning, i visited ta prohm, the temple park made famous recently by 'tomb raider.' and was really floored by the majesty of the jungle. especially how it has taken over these ancient temples. the trees are hundreds of years old and snake around the temples and ruins, reminding you that nature is indeed stronger than what humans built there. chinese, korean and japanese tourists abound, but it still didn't really take away from the experience. and pictures really don't do it justice. it was AMAZING and made all the annoying inconviences of the trip distant memories. i'll say the same of angkor wat and the other temples. even if you're not the least bit spiritual, you will still be humbled by these places. i was reminded that i have a selective fear of heights when i climbed the *steep* steps of angkor wat to the third level. i don't remember having this same anxiety as a kid, but it was all too real when i was climbing, then ascending, the steps of the temple. i forget how many meters it is exactly, but here's a good pic to give you an idea. it was so bad that my hands were shaking and heart was pounding. maybe this is just a manifestation of my general anxiety issues...*sigh*

i almost cancelled this weekend trip just to have some lazy time by the pool back in phnom penh, and now i can't imagine how much i would have regretted it.

today have much less energy and am feeling a little sick, actually. ate some fish steamed with coconut milk inside a banana leaf (a khmer delicacy called "amok") and suffered some MAJOR stomach issues this morning. yeah. hence, why i am not sightseeing this afternoon and writing this from internet cafe instead ;)

anyway, i got more exercise yesterday and this morning than i have in two weeks and otherwise feel great. there's a french quarter of town here and because this is the most visited part of cambodia, a real tourism industry is here to cater. maybe i'll go to a french-khmer cafe for a late lunch, then read a book while i wait for my taxi back to the airport to phnom penh.

my travel agent now says it'll cost around $600 to change my ticket home, but has waitlisted me for a flight from bangkok back to sf (via tokyo again) on the 8th, which, in that case, would mean i'll actually be home on the 8th. otherwise, i'll be home on the 6th or 7th. i'd love to be able to spend two more days in bkk on the way back, simply because there are still things there i haven't seen, and poonsook has so graciously offered to give me a "home stay" orientation to see how middle class thai families actually live. i'd get to hang out and play with her 6 year old son, prin, who is really fun and cute and says hysterical things. pure entertainment for me, as you can imagine... i brought him some gummy bears from the states when i arrived in bkk the first time...

i had a social night with jen and her friends last week, but it's only the 2nd one i've had in two weeks cos we work so much that i am really missing informal human connections... it's taken being away from my daily routine to realize i guess how social i am. i don't think of myself that way, and solitude and time to myself are so so so precious to me, but i'm learning to appreciate what i have back home. so greatful for my life right now.

so with that, i'm realizing i have some emails to check for work and one to answer from my mom, herself on vacation visiting that side of the family in minnesota, probably having beer 'n brats at the german festival, heh.

back into the heat!

Back in "The Penh"

someone from home called it that and i just loved it. that moniker really suits this city. hilarious.

i've emailed some folks and realized it's easier to just update this thing instead. sorry these updates have been moving at the glacial speed they have, i just haven't been all that inspired to write, as it's either been too busy, i've been too tired, or it's just been too inconvenient to get to a pc with internet.

back in phnom penh after five sometimes excrutiating days in bangkok prepping for, then conducting this workshop. meeting was not only successful (interesting presentations and the delegates present were all too engaged) but socially productive for me, as i made some good work connections there and developed some really good economic project ideas. fun.

let me just take a moment to say how much i love bangkok. it's not a beautiful city; it's actually kind of a mess. with all the construction that began when times were good (economic boom) and then the screeching halt of all that excess when the financial crash of the late 1990's happened, you find it's a city not necessarily easy to navigate or get to know quickly.

but in a short amount of time and in only two visits, it has engraciated itself to me almost by default. i don't compare phnom penh to bangkok, because phnom penh isn't really a city by cosmopolitan standards. still, when i fell onto my featherbed and luxuriated with a facial and manicure and was at least able to contemplate the possibility of seeing a movie in an actual theater, i felt like i was in heaven.

i will dedicate another post to the joy of thai cuisine later. it deserves the pause of appreciation all by itself.

instead, i will say just that it was a rough trip to bangkok and i spent the weekend working, but a luxury resort has no better substitute when it comes to doing these things.

must sleep soon. will post about work back here later.

Seven Days and Not (Really) Counting...

so, i'll just get this over with and mention that i'm really bad with the autobiographical writing stuff. so bad that i just realized this expensive business center i'm writing from in my hotel is about to close and i don't have a laptop to take back to my room. and by the way: yay for the corporate Am Ex.

yáll will be happy to know this is the first night i am getting some serious rest and am not going out :) today was up and down. way too emotional. mixed feelings about everything right now. jet lag finally caught up with me. phnom penh is surreal. like nothing i have ever really known. simultaneously amazing and supremely Fucked Up. will find real time to write about asia tomorrow.

message of the day: count your blessings.

I'm In the Sky!

And will be for a very long time. Hopefully they'll serve peanuts!